and I'm an alcoholic.
I am a cow. Yesterday, was the worst day of my life. I was standing in my field, when I saw this man with a gun coming towards me. I mooed and ran away. I thought he was chasing after me, but it turns out, he was chasing my mother. I saw her being loaded up into his trailor.. She was mooing so loud. I could hear it as clear as day. In moo speak, she was saying "Jeannie, you fucking alcoholic, I'm being taken to the slaughter house. Where they will shoot my head with a gun. They'll rip my skin off with knives and butcher me into disgusting little pieces of meat. Don't be afraid, because the moo gods will one day come save you from this horrible fate."

So my utter started to drip, the cow form of crying.

I tried to run away, but realized that electric fences hurt more than the big bulls say they do.

I plotted to kill my farmer man, but obviously a poor small cow cannot do much to hurt a fat old man.

So i sat in the shade and refused to eat.

And when there wasn't any shade, i layed in the sun and smelled like horrible shit.



and then one day I died. And i went to cow heaven where I saw my mother. My mother and I fell in love.
and now t here is a heaven baby on the way.



The end.




















Ohhhh snap i wish i had something better to do in study hall.
i'm on crack